Incognito Victories

Here I am again. A year has passed, and the writing did not happen as I had planned. But so much more did, and I’m happy to say that 2023 was a year of personal, the-kind-that-you-can’t-see victories.

And with that, I want to go a bit more incognito on this blog now. I feel like one of the reasons I didn’t write as much this year was the risk of being too visible… to able to find… even though, like, really, who do I know that would want to find me? Still, with that in the back of my head, I refrained from writing because I felt like I could not be authentic.

So here I am again. I’ll take some pictures down. I’ll look at some old posts. And I’ll hopefully write more for me.

One of the reasons I started this website a year ago was to focus on my peace. Yes, my peace is messy, but I realized that finding the peace within that mess is so important. I wanted to be kinder to myself. After so many years of wanting to be more in some ways and less in others, I just wanted to like myself. How sad is it that I was my biggest critic and my inner dialogue was always so negative. I read something one day last year about being your own best friend. I’ll have to find the excerpt again, but it was a certain archetype questionnaire that made a lot of sense to me. I am a person often within my own head. I spend a lot of “quality time” with myself, but I was using that time to make me feel less than… criticizing so much about myself… trying to think of ways to be better…. and so much more. Taking a step back, and looking at it from a “best friend’s” perspective, this was extremely damaging and not a friendship or a relationship that I would want to be in. So I had to change that.

I consciously made a decision to stop thinking I am not good enough. I stopped waiting for someday — and started enjoying myself and moments in my life now. I took care of myself. After experiencing some stress, I went to the doctor and had the courage for myself to address my feelings of anxiety. I took steps to address it.

I feel so much better than I have in a long time. I hope to continue down this path this year. I feel like by taking care of myself, I am able to give more to my family and make it so that we are all headed in a positive direction each day.

That’s all for now. Happy New Year and may this year bring everyone many moments of peace.